thought, while in the meandering lanes of night
what is it about you?and then when i chalked you out
thought why you?
and now that the nexus of thoughts is so intricate yet strong,
and i can't feel i adhere or belong,
i wonder, how can you?
walking through the mess
of what seems calm but are overwhelming deep within,
can you help but not think,how could you?
and can you anymore?
look forward for what is the unreachable.
look back and you can see the filth,
of what used to be love and affection,filthy relations.
and just when it looks like maybe i can make it a bit further,
and a few more steps will make me pure,
i can feel my sight wander and and thoughts flicker.
i can realize the familiar touch on me,
the hope to have what is the realization of my mirage!
this is how uncertainity looks like.
its on my mind, what about you?
i can feel the perseverance, grow within me each night.
and just when i was to disappear i recognized a smile,
it is a menace,and i wonder if it is mine.
conveying much, though a bit maligned.
and i look towards you and feel
maybe i can get where i can hope and desire again.
i want to, do you?
and as i am about to venture out again,
can you realize i am getting better at being steady?
do i intrigue you, am i varied enough for you?
i can feel the question crawling in me
but i know i dont want to answer , you too?
when we reach for what is the end and can finally metamorphose,
i hope i can reveal how i left the filth behind.
i am waiting for the end, aren't you?


for the smithereens of good time--when cold winters used to b warm because of faraway springs!!

amdist the darkness that lies within
prevails the monster that seeks me now.
doesn't it really?
even when i am on the better curbs of my life
seek solace in another's agony.
find a smile among ther tears.
with each time you adjure life,
to give you back to it,
i can feel it moving in me,
the monster with the green eyes.
i feel the pain n shed a tear,
but deep within, its a bit of me,
just an ounce thats lost and gone.
i am glad, that it is for you.
and then when i try to find little peace in your words.
they reveal sympathy and hopes for our joy,
can we not stop and think for a while?
these are just words that say less and just wander miles
is that the monster with the green eyes?
why is it that others can make us smile or cry?
why are we left to wonder,
as the year passes,what have we done to make our lives,
resemble the ones that we wish was ours?
and in the end when we have reached so far,
we still look ahead and feel the despair seeping in,
because someone is still far ahead on the road,
and we realize that is the monster with the green eyes.